Unreasonable Hospitality: The Secret Advantage for Church and Seminary Growth

We’ve never known a pastor or seminary president who hasn’t had a few sleepless nights wrestling with questions that seem to have no clear answers. For pastors, perhaps you’re concerned about declining or plateaued attendance, struggling to effectively welcome and integrate new members, or wrestling with how to create deeper engagement in your church’s ministry and mission. If you lead a seminary, perhaps you’ve watched with growing concern as peer institutions across the country have been forced to close their doors due to declining enrollment and insufficient funding. These challenges are real, and they're becoming more acute in today’s increasingly competitive landscape.

But what if a proven approach could transform your organization's relationship with members, visitors, students, and stakeholders? The answer might come from an unexpected source: the restaurant industry.

When Will Guidara took over Eleven Madison Park at age 26, it was a struggling two-star restaurant that had never lived up to its potential. Eleven years later, it was named the best restaurant in the world. The secret? What Guidara calls “unreasonable hospitality” – the art of giving people more than they expect. While his insights emerged from the restaurant industry, they hold transformative potential for churches and seminaries seeking to deepen their impact and expand their reach.

This systematic approach to creating extraordinary experiences—captured in his NYT bestselling Unreasonable Hospitality—has transformed organizations across sectors. And it could be precisely what your organization needs to create such remarkable experiences that people not only participate in your mission but become passionate advocates for your cause.

Beyond Service: Understanding True Hospitality

First, we must understand the crucial distinction between service and hospitality. Service is what you do – the academic programs you offer, the worship services you conduct, the operational excellence you maintain. Hospitality, on the other hand, is how you make people feel. Service is black and white; hospitality adds color to the experience. This distinction matters tremendously in ministry contexts, where relationships are everything.

Consider a church's approach to new visitors. Service means ensuring the parking lot is well-marked, the coffee is hot, the sermon is solid, and the worship service runs smoothly. Hospitality means remembering a first-time visitor who mentioned they have a special-needs child and connecting them with other families who can share resources and support. Service is following up with a welcome email; hospitality is giving prospective members a free book for their spiritual growth and a handwritten note from a staff member.

The Power of the Customer Journey Advantage Map

The key to implementing unreasonable hospitality is creating what Guidara calls a Customer Journey Advantage Map – a comprehensive view of every touchpoint where your organization interacts with its constituents. For a seminary, these touchpoints might include:

• A prospective student’s first website visit

• The initial inquiry email

• Campus visit experiences

• Application process

• Acceptance notification

• First day of classes

• Academic advising sessions

• Graduation ceremonies

• Alumni engagement

For a church, key touchpoints might include:

• First website visit

• Initial phone call or email inquiry

• First-time visit to a worship service

• Welcome center interaction

• Small group or Sunday School attendance

• Ministry involvement opportunities

• Special events and holiday services

• Pastoral care moments

By mapping these moments and rating them as positive, negative, or overlooked, organizations can identify opportunities to transform ordinary interactions into extraordinary experiences.

Elevating the Experience: From Ordinary to Extraordinary

Consider how a seminary might apply this approach to its prospective student journey. Instead of simply sending an acceptance letter (service), they could create a moment of celebration by having a faculty member personally call the accepted student, pray with them, and share why they're excited to have them join the community (hospitality). Rather than just providing a campus map during orientation (service), they could assign each new student a current student mentor who shares their specific academic interests and ministry goals (hospitality).

For a church, this might mean going beyond standard welcome procedures. When a new family visits, instead of just having greeters at the door, the church could create a personalized welcome experience where a host family walks them through the building, introduces them to other families with children of similar ages, and follows up with an invitation to lunch the following week. Or, as they depart their first service, give them a “gift box” with a free book and a note from the pastor.

Systematizing Hospitality Through Clear Rules

The genius of Guidara’s approach lies in systematizing these moments of extraordinary care. He suggests creating specific “When X happens, we Y” rules. For example:

For a seminary:

• When students mention struggling to find childcare, we connect them with other student families who have solved this challenge.

• When we learn it’s a student’s birthday, faculty members sign a card and include a gift card to the campus bookstore or coffee shop.

• When international students arrive, we have a welcome team help them set up their apartment and introduce them to others from their home country.

For a church:

• When a family visits with young children, we give them a personalized welcome pack with age-appropriate activities and information about our children’s ministry.

• When someone joins a small group, the leader arranges a coffee meeting within the first week to learn their story and spiritual journey.

• When we discover a member is hospitalized, our care team delivers a care package to both the patient and their family within 24 hours.

The Competitive Advantage of Care

In an increasingly secular and disconnected world, unreasonable hospitality provides a sustainable advantage. While other organizations might be able to replicate your programs or content, they cannot easily duplicate the feeling of being deeply known and cared for that comes from systematic, intentional hospitality.

For churches and seminaries, this approach aligns perfectly with their spiritual mission. It's not just about growing numbers or increasing participation – it's about embodying the very care and attention that characterizes God's relationship with His people.

Taking the Next Step: Implementing Unreasonable Hospitality

While the principles of unreasonable hospitality are straightforward, implementing them effectively takes some effort and, usually, a bit of expert guidance. That's why working with a certified Unreasonable Hospitality guide can accelerate your organization's transformation and ensure lasting results.

As a certified Unreasonable Hospitality guide who has more than two decades of experience in executive leadership at churches and Christian institutions of higher education, I am passionate about helping Christian organizations map their constituent journeys, identify key opportunities for extraordinary experiences, and implement systematic approaches to unreasonable hospitality that drive real results.

The impact of unreasonable hospitality extends beyond immediate metrics like attendance or enrollment numbers. It creates a culture of care that transforms both the giving and receiving of ministry. When people feel genuinely seen, valued, and cared for, they become not just participants but passionate advocates for your mission.

In a world where genuine connection often feels scarce, organizations that master the art of unreasonable hospitality will find themselves with not just satisfied constituents but passionate partners in their mission. The question is not whether your organization can afford to implement such an approach but whether it can afford not to.

Ready to transform your organization through unreasonable hospitality? Contact The Ashford Agency today to begin your journey toward creating exceptional experiences that drive extraordinary results.